My bf died last week. ?

He got hit by a truck on his way home. We were arguing and he left angry. His sister called me later and told me what happened. He was still alive when he was at the hospitall. I went to see him and he was all messed up. The next day I went to see him and he was a little better he was talking to me. He wrote me a letter but I didn't read it. About 2 hourss later he was gone. I ran out the hospital and kept running far away. I went home 3 days later and my parents were yelling at me. I ignored them and went in my room and stayed in there for days crying and hurting myself. If I had just stopped arguing with him and listened to him this would never had happened. His family is going through a hard time because of me. This baby won't even have a father now and I don't know how I'm sopposed to tell it when it grows up. It should have been me not him. I still didn't read hiss letter. I can't. Everybodys bugging me about it. All my friends come to my house trying to talk to me and see if I'm ok. My parents are trying to get me to eat and talk to them and I don't want to talk to anyone aboutt it. I haven't eaten for days and I'm not hungary. I just want everybody to stop bothering me and leave me alonee. I can't take it anymore. His mom wants me to come to funeral and say something but I don't think I can. How can I make this all just go awayy???