How do I finish with someone who hurts me when I get too attached?

When I know I am being mistreated instead of finishing it, I go quiet and get worried. I put up with it & this had led me to physical abuse from partners in the past. It's like I can't DEMAND to be treated well or something. When he says 'if you go out dancing every again we're finished. I am not the sort that can say. Get lost then, instead, I don't dance..... I know he's not treating me well, but I told him, right don't phone tonight. Now, wierdly, I started missing him immediately, even though he threw me out of his house because I moved his ex's jumper from the spot he keeps it in. It's like ocd with him, he keeps 'memento's of everyone who's died or left him & his home is more & more like a shrine. He went crazy at me for moving an item, yet here I am - missing his voice & wishing we could of got married..... is it possible that some woman LIKE being treated bad? It's almost like he commands I respect him, so I do? I don't understand how to love myself enough to make ME be treated better?????