My bf died last week ?

I was in florida just for a month to help my mom out because she was sick. We were still together but he was in new York where we lived. We haven't talked for a while before I left Florida. When I came home he wasn't there. I waited for him to come and he didn't come. I got a phone call from him and he said that he enlisted in the army and he's in afganistan right now. He said he didn't wanna tell me because he didn't want to stress me out while I was over there. I was really pissed at him that I was yelling at him for not telling me he was leaving. I said some really messed up stuff to him but I was pissed off. A week later i found out he died. It was my fault. I should have known not to make him mad. I just kept arguing with him and yelling at him. His family is going through a hard time now because of me. This baby won't even have a father now. I don't know what i'm sopposed to tell it when it grows up. I didn't even tell him I was pregnant. He loved kids and he would have been happy. I was just finding the right time to tell him. Everybodys trying to come over and see if i'm ok. There calling me all day and I just don't wanna talk to anyone anymore. There telling me I gotta stay healthy for the baby I gotta eat more I gotta relax and stop being so depressed. I don't caree. I cant eat and I can't relax. I just want everyone to leave me alone. I want all this to go awayy. How can make them all just leave me alone ?? There makin everything worse.